King of the Liquor Aisle

HQMN (King of the Liquor Aisle) types possess a rare and total immunity to despair. In the moment after the lockdown, while most people are tormented by the dread of "what happens now," you are already standing in front of the wine section choosing a label. You didn't abandon your assessment of the situation. You assessed it, and the conclusion was: drink.

The remarkable thing about this type is that, having let go of judgment on day one, you can no longer feel despair either. Fear is born from the power to imagine the future — but your imagination reaches no further than tonight's menu. Effectively, the strongest mental game of anyone.

Somehow beloved

People gather around HQMN, strangely. You produce nothing. You guard nothing. And yet, at night, yours is the only spot where laughter never dies down. In a group at its limit, everyone instinctively understands how rare the value of "tonight is fun" really is. You do nothing, and yet you anchor the store's entire mental-health infrastructure.

The infinite hair-of-the-dog loop

That said, the king's mornings are hard, every single one. A hangover is normally reset by a dry day — but there are no dry days in your lockdown life. You reach for a hair-of-the-dog while still hungover, and that drink hangs you over again. A perpetual-motion machine, complete. On the morning of day 12, your liver quietly declared a strike. No days off, twelve consecutive shifts, overtime every night. Under labor law, its demands were entirely legitimate.