The Bathroom Recluse

HQSN (Bathroom Recluse) types reach the fastest and surest answer in a crisis. "Where in this store is there a place that locks, has water, and lets you be alone?" There is only one answer. Seven minutes after the lockdown, you were already inside the stall. The fastest decision in the store.

Tactically, this call is a perfect score. The bathroom locks, has running water, and even a ventilation fan. There is just one problem: outside this flawless fortress, your existence is being rapidly forgotten.

Absolutely safe

HQSN's 30 days are unrelated to every incident that happened in the store. The night of the oden revolution, the morning the Energy Drink Warrior fell — you spent them quietly in the stall. Conflict, the scramble over hunger — none of it reaches you. On the single axis of safety, you stand with the Backroom Deity as one of the two great titans. Except the Backroom Deity is surrounded by stock, and you are in a toilet. Even in seclusion, there was a gap in asset value.

Proof of existence

Descartes said "I think, therefore I am," but at present the only thing guaranteeing your existence is your own thought. Not one of your companions remembers you. Your name is on no ration list, no roll call, no rescue roster. You are alive. There is no further information than that. Of you after day 21, this test can record nothing. Because you are unobserved.